Swami Shivapadananda Puri on managing desire and lust

Our scriptures say, 'Pity the man who has tasted lust.' Master [Paramahamsa Sri Ramakrishna] said that if a man has tasted pickle, every time he looks at a pickle his mouth starts watering. [Laughter.] So, for the householders: stay in the company of your wife. The idea is slow withdrawal from lust. Slow but sincere withdrawal.

Visitor: Isn’t the idea of getting married incurring more karmic debt, more worldliness?

Swamiji: Not if you have the right type of partner. I have seen a lot of good examples of this. To start controlling lust the yogis have advised the householders thus: fast on spiritual days, the birthdays of any saints of any religion; and on full moon and new moon days the husband and wife must sleep separately. If they follow this then the wife and husband have tamed their minds; and there is hardly a day left where they can increase their lust because they will be saying, ‘tomorrow is a fasting day’ and so on.

I gave advice to one couple who were very sexually inclined, I said, ‘Very good. Carry on.’ I said it openly. They got a shock. I said, ‘The only thing you two must do, is just before you do anything, you must sit on the same bed and you must do one round of japa [108 repetitions of a mantra].’ Later they came and told me, ‘After doing japa we don’t feel any desire.’ I said, ‘That’s right. Good.’

They think that it [sex/desire] is evil. It is not evil. It is just a craving, a chemical discharge. But now do you see how this advice helped them?