Swamiji talks about the need to embrace and become above suffering. And in the 2nd part says only fools marry!😉 Disc 143 track 2.

[Sri Sarada Devi taught that suffering is an inherent part of human existence, primarily stemming from desire and attachment, and the result of one’s own karma. To transcend it, she emphasised patience, forbearance, prayer, spiritual practice (japa and meditation), and cultivating a mindset of non-attachment and universal love.]

To listen to Swamiji speaking, please fully open the post and then click on the link below.

There is only one way. And the way is – practise tapasya [austerity]. The western world tries to make life very comfortable. Thus, adding more to the power of Maya. For example: we find it difficult to sleep down on the floor. We want to sleep on a mattress. We find a coir [rough coconut husk fibre] mattress is not that comfortable and we sleep on a foam mattress. You in no way became above pain because you only substituted there, from hard ground to a coir mattress.  And you substituted the coir mattress for a foam mattress. Of course, by the time you get to eventually sleep on a foam mattress you’ll die and then you’ll go back to sleeping on the ‘sand mattress’ [in a grave].

The eastern world is different. We do not fight evil. We don’t believe in fighting evil. We believe in becoming above evil. Example: Mother Sita did not run away from suffering. The more she suffered, the more she did austerity. The more she took God’s name. Until suffering became no suffering. Thus, she became above suffering.

A sadhu in India or a child in India will sleep on the floor. He’ll have one sack to sleep on. His life is so simple that from small he sleeps on it. For one or two days the child may cry because he’s on the floor, because of the pain [discomfort] but he sleeps because there’s no alternative. And thus the hard floor becomes a soft mattress for him [he acclimatises]. He becomes above hardness.

Suffer – suffer you must in this world. You have come in this world. It’s just like you went to the fish market. No matter how much scent [fragrance] you put on yourself, the fish smell will still come through. Suffering is a part of this world. We must forbear [tolerate and accept] suffering. We must learn the art of suffering. When we have learned the art of suffering, suffering becomes no suffering. You’ll laugh at suffering in all its glory. 

The saints and sages say that you have taken birth ignorantly.  My dear son, at least become knowledgeable now. Dive in! Learn to die. Learn the art of dying. Learn the art of dying. The art of dying is drowning yourself in God-thought. And grow through austerity. Don’t run away from suffering. It’ll make it worse. From ground floor you’re going on coir mattress and from coir mattress you’re going on foam mattress.  Fools only run away from suffering. But wise people learn the art of turning suffering to austerity – spiritual practise [sadhana].

Sri Rama, Sita, Lakshmana in our eyes were banished to the forest.  But if you read that carefully, they used that ‘banishment’ as pilgrimage for holy purposes. Suffering you must turn into spiritual opportunity. Yes, you will cry and say, ‘This is so hard.’ You fool, if [when] you cry, nobody can do anything. [The karma must be worked out]. Leave the foam mattress on the floor, I’ll lift you onto the coir mattress, but there’s no way you can cease suffering. I may comfort [console] you all, ‘It’s alright, everything’s OK’, then you got onto the foam mattress. Then you’ll find yourself in a worse plight. Rather suffer and learn the art of suffering.

If you keep complaining about your mother-in-law, there’s no way you can kill your mother in law. You’ll be charged with murder. You have to learn to tolerate her. You keep complaining about your wife, but there’s no way to get out of it. You may get a divorce but there’s a scar on your character. You get into the habit of divorce. So you get another wife, another wife, and one dies and next birth you’ll still get married and divorced. Learn the art of liberation now.

So in the next birth, all those people who are divorced in this birth, next birth they’ll get married to the same man. Congregation chuckling [in amusement or horror at the prospect? 😉] Swamiji: It must and has to be. But they’re only postponing it. All those people who poisoned their husbands, next birth they’re going to get married to him again. Learn the art of toleration now.

The people here who are not married, you’re stupid if you get married. If you want to know what I’m talking about, go and ask your own mothers. They’ll tell you nicely. Very few and far between say, ‘This was good’, of their marriage. But they go themselves…..[and repeat it all over again?] If you’re married, learn to live a good life and tolerate. Swamiji repeats it: Learn to live a good life and tolerate. Live for God.

You see we sent [our then pre-monastic Brother] Chandi away for three weeks to another ashram. He’s looking for a resting place. And if she [the wife] goes away somewhere to write exams for five or six days, she’s gone mad. Before they met they were not that mad, huh? Congregants laughing. Don’t worry about Anoop [Dr Seebaran], he’s the same. Women laughing heartily. He doesn’t tell me that he’s missing Romila [his wife], he says, ‘I’m missing Prishani’ [his daughter.] Merriment from the congregation. 

So you see, this is the art of getting out of a predicament.  [Indistinct audio patch…something about home because the grannies will come….In any case if you go today and she has to die she’ll die. If you don’t go there, she has to live. Your going won’t change it in any way. So learn the art to look for God. You want to go, the best thing is not to go.  Second best will be to go. I don’t know anyone to get married to.

Our guru bhen, sister Pat, asking how to learn to tolerate a man. Swamiji says, ‘Learn to become above the man.’ Not only for man but learn to be become above the woman [if that’s what’s needed].  Sometimes the man is a demon. Sometimes the wife is a demoness. The poor man is a god. Sometimes they both are like that. Congregants chuckling nervously. So I think we are better off not marrying. Fools get married. [There’s a long pause as this slowly sinks into the congregation’s thoughts. Followed by a rising swell of laughter as they realise, ‘guilty as charged’. ] Swamiji enjoying himself and asks, ‘Any questions?’

Someone asks, [I think this was the question…] why did God allow us to marry then? Swamiji: He wanted you to know what fools you are. Much hilarity. Swamiji: No matter how many times I tell you, you won’t understand it. Referring to the daughter of a devotee, Swamiji says, Ragini wants to get married.

As a human being, you get so tired with one husband that you want to see something different. You see, it comes out in the mirror. [Someone clearly nodding]. Swamiji says, It’s true, you get that. She says it’s true.

That’s why a sannyasi [monk] is said to have a bald head. Some of these young boys revolt against a bald head. That’s the idea, you must see the same fellow all over because you’ll never see another fellow. You must read [the book] ‘The changeless attitude.’

Love God. There’s  no one under the sun like God. You love the husband because God is in the husband. You love the wife because God is in the wife. You love the child because God is in the child. Don’t forget that one thing: suffering is going to come, sooner or later – but learn how to rise above it.

The free-to-read, 396 page Flipbook version of Swamiji’s biography is available by clicking HERE.

These recordings were made from the 1970s onward, by Mother Radha, a close devotee of Swamiji’s and edited for uploading here by our gurubhai and her son, Brother Tim. Please be mindful that what Swamiji was saying may have been specific to an individual or a group of people with him, at the time.